By Jill Roberts
My grandfather had a saying, “Shit, or get off the pot.”
In my youth, I understood it to mean that one should not avoid making a decision. Specifically, a decision that prevents us to pursue a choice we’ve already made in our heart. As an adult, I understand more deeply, the consequence of living within a constipated state, where nothing develops, or improves, because nothing changes, or is pursued.
It’s that zone between reaching for what we want, and keeping with what is unpleasantly familiar; It’s the gap between letting go, or being all in. We neither fully accept our current circumstance, or pursue a dream or desire for change. We ignore our inner compass and get stuck in a state of mental purgatory.
I’ve been guilty of remaining in circumstances far longer than I should have. I was neither accepting the current circumstance—and working to improve it; Nor, pursuing something different. Instead, I agonized over the fear of uncertainty, and what challenges might lie beyond the familiar. I worried how the ripple effect of my choice might disappoint or hurt those I cared about.
Except, the space between shitting, or getting off the pot, isn’t a place to be occupied indefinitely, or so I’ve learned. Eventually, life will force a hand, and usually not a pleasant one. In my case, the emotional torment would exhaust in behavior unbecoming of my best self. If only I had pursued what I knew in my heart to be the right choice, I could have saved myself the shame. Essentially, it took shitting on what wasn’t working, before I gave myself permission to move on.
Taking time to consider a decision is necessary, but to hover over a decision, while repeating the same process, is not. Especially, after your heart has already made a choice. To quote the great physicist, Albert Einstein, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.”
Today, I understand that remaining status quo in an unpleasant circumstance is detrimental to my personal well-being. Even when I can’t immediately move away from an unpleasant situation—maybe it’s a crappy job, an unfortunate health issue, a sour relationship, or an uncomfortable living arrangement—accepting it, and improving my attitude about it, can dislodge me from the mental turmoilI, and set in motion steps towards living a more truer and authentic life.